How to Unwind in 19 Seconds

Sometimes, anxiety happens. Here's how to unwind in 19 seconds. 

Sometimes life is stressful. There are days where the workload is high, the ability to compartmentalize personal from professional and vice versa is difficult, and anxiety threatens to take over completely. I think it is safe to say we have all had that paralyzing moment of not being able to mentally take it down a few notches. 

I use this breathing technique to relax my mind and body for various situations; before an interview or big meeting, if I can't fall asleep, or as a way to exit work mode. It takes less than a minute to complete three rounds and can be done anywhere. 

It's fairly simple yet highly effective. Here's how it works:

1. Close your eyes or drop your gaze to the floor. 

2. Breathe in for a count of four.

3. Hold your breath for a count of seven.

4. Exhale for a count of eight.

5. Repeat at least three times. 

How do you feel? Relaxed? Was it helpful to count or was it distracting?

Happy almost long weekend. Xx. 

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+ What do you think? 

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How to Handle Conflict

Tips & Tricks & Why Do I Care?

This post was previously published November 19, 2015. Since handling conflict is a part of life, there's never a bad time to arm yourself with ways to win at sticky situations.

It is important to find manageable ways to deal with confrontation and conflict to alleviate the inevitable pains that come from an ill-spoken word or argument. Here are my top four tips along with an awesome apology format to follow when future conflicts happen.

- if something is said that makes you want to lash out::

and an immediate response is necessary, take three full inhales and exhales before responding. If you can wait to respond, take the time to filter your words in a way that strongly presents your opinion but comes across without inflicting pain.

- if something is written that makes you want to lash out::

do not respond immediately. Write out what you would like to say, but do not send it at that moment. Take out unnecessary expressions of anger, and after ensuring your words come across mindfully and intentionally without cruelty, hit the send button.

- if you do or have done something in an expression of anger or hatred::

remember a heartfelt and sincere apology goes a lot further than resentment ever will. For example, if you've hurt someone's feelings or said an unkind remark, ask yourself why you lashed out that way, how it might have impacted their life to hear something like that, and ways you two might move forward.

A helpful format is,
"It has come to my attention that my action of (action requiring apology) could be seen as (offensive, annoying, hurtful, etc). I never intended to (consequence of your action). I want you to understand I was merely trying to (your intention), though I can see now that it may appear I was (perceived motive). Please accept my (adjective) apology. Moving forward, I will attempt to (proposed solution). That said, I would very much appreciate it if you (request for other party). Sincerely your (relationship to person), (your name)."

- if you are angry with or hate yourself::

breathe, ask yourself what exactly makes you upset, and plan simple steps you can take moving forward to change the behavior that bothers you. As an example, imagine you are upset you do not wake up on time. Ask yourself if you are going to bed too late, having difficulty staying asleep, or feeling overly stressed during the day. Some helpful steps would be to wind down earlier in the evening to go to bed at a more appropriate-for-you time, to lessen your load during the day by delegating or re-prioritizing, or possibly adjusting your caffeine intake if you're having trouble falling and staying asleep.

Choosing a more peaceful way to handle conflict is not easy. It requires effort and self-reflection. Be kind to yourself if you lash out or wish you had done something differently. Take small steps.

+ Did you find these tips helpful? What is your go-to calm down strategy?

Tag @yourfriend_em on Twitter or Instagram and tell me what you loved best about Handling Conflict. Share this with people who could benefit. Hashtag #thegreatvibesguide to spread the Great Vibes! Xx

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I Am Not Superwoman

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Thank You for being my Kick A** Tribe

After launching The Great Vibes Guide last week, I was humbled and excited by the encouragement and support from everyone. It's true what they say: embrace your authenticity and the rest will follow. When you walk in your truth, imperfections and all, everything else (i.e. success, love, money) follows suit.

But I have a confession to make.

I am not Superwoman.

So stop idolizing. Stop wondering how I do it all so easily (because I don't). Stop putting me up on a pedestal because of the persona I've created for this space. To say or do those things would be unfair and unrealistic: to you and to me.

Great Vibes come from the highs and the lows. It would be a shame to never experience a day that makes you want to stomp your foot, jump up and down, and scream what the eff to the universe. Why? Because when the days that give you butterflies, the days that make you happy dance and laugh at the romance and mystery of this magnanimous world come around, they are appreciated all the more.

The Great Vibes Guide is an excellent place. And I love it with all of my heart. But to say that it's all Great Vibes all the time would be a lie. This space is created to maximize the Great Vibes, to find more days than not filled with Great Vibes. It's a reminder, to you and to me, of the easy ways to feel your best.

Last night, after four hours of tears and serious conversation, I was reminded by an amazing woman that I can do anything I want, but I don't need to/can not do it all at once.

I may not be Superwoman, oh heck no. But I am a super woman. I love my life. I love my friends. I love my food and yoga and my dog, Dellie. I am so humbled to find what fuels my passions at such a young age, but my life is a careful, hectic, overwhelming-at-most-times balance. Some days it's giggles and hope and success, while other days it tears, tantrums, and wanting to hide in a bowl of popcorn & Netflix. When those Great Vibes need an extra boost, that's what this space is all about.

I love you all, but I'm here to be human with you, not held to a higher standard. I am not Superwoman, but I am a super woman. And to all of you out there, you're super humans too.

Xx & Great Vibes
 

P.S. While you're curious about all things Great Vibes, I invite you to use the hashtag #thegreatvibesguide for anything that makes you feel like doing the happy dance or expressing your imperfectly perfect selves.

P.S.S. Did you know if you sign up for the newsletter you get a free Great Vibes Guide & grocery store printable of the dirty dozen and clean fifteen? Yeah ... we're going there.

P.S.S.S.S. Have you checked out all of the
other places Emily's spreading the Great Vibes?

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